Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Coalition for Abstinence Education: Oh, COME ON! Really, people?? That's like telling your daughter that if she has premarital sex then Bin Laden will dry hump her in the back of the movie theater once a week for six months. I'd choose Invisible Hitler any day.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Beware: Children at Play (1989): According to Wikipedia -- "The film follows the inhabitants of a small rural town whose children are disappearing at an alarming rate and whose adults are simutaneously being killed in a ritualistic fashion. It is revealed early on that the kids are being inducted into a cannibalistic cult that live in the woods." And that's all she wrote.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
iPod turns 10: Happy birthday iPod, you changed the world. Selling more than 304 million units, you made Apple the leader in mp3 players around the globe. But ACTUALLY, what we all should have done was buy apple stock.
[The Daily What: Geek]
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
What is a computer?: Sesame Street episode from 1984.
Teacher: What makes us different from computers?
Teacher: Can the computer think?
Teacher: So who's doing the thinking?
Class: We Are!
Siri: I am.
Cocaine Tooth Drops: Part of the great history of America is that for a long time we ate things that were actually addictive drugs. And when did we stop picking up pills from the "druggist"?
Iver Johnson Revolvers: Papa forces his little girl to stay up all night holding his revolver. "It's ok though, because he says it won't hurt us. See, it says so right here on my night shirt." Between the gun and the not creepy doll, Sally ought to doze off any minute now...
Blatz Beer: Nowadays cool parents don't get drunk with their children until their senior spring break trip to an all-inclusive mexican resort. In the good old days, mommy would take a sippy then baby would take a sippy until they could both giggle away their oppression.
Gillette Safety Razor: No one wants a bearded baby. The blade is so safe you can run it down your son's soft baby neck.
DuPont Cellophane: Mommy is so happy when she buys Du Pont Cellophane. It makes her postpartum depression just fade away...
Gilbert Atomic Energy Lab: Were atomic bombs something dangerous to play with or fun and safe to play with? This gives a whole new meaning to Baby Einstein.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Pitney-Bowes Postage Meter: Ha! Don't we all wish we could murder people sometimes? What on earth did this woman do? Put too many of those darned 4c stamps on a postcard again! Being the woman she is, maybe she put another letter in the post with no stamps at all. Buying this product will save lives.
Tipalet Flavored Cigarettes: There's nothing quite as sexy as a strange man blowing second hand smoke in your eyes. You better run, girl, because that man is blowing cancer all up in your face. Ah, the good ole days, when people could sell you things that slowly kill you, while making them seem oh so sexy.
Unnamed Shoe Ad: We all know exactly where she belongs: Naked, on the floor, watching a shoe. All day long. That'll teach her!
Kenwood Chef: Not only should wives do nothing but cook, but they should also where those cute little chef hats while they do it. More importanly: What the deuce is in this kitchen?? One glass of red wine, two eggs, a glass of water and oranges, an a tall carafe of kool-aid. Nice work, honey!
Mr. Leggs Pants: Because nothing says a nice pair of pants like a woman's head sewn to a tiger skin carpet.